(1) You can trust her completely
Without trust all the other qualities are irrelevant. In the day of the tribe man had to trust his girlfriend was carrying out her role while he was out on the hunt. He didn’t want to come back to camp to find Hogarth had poached his girl.
Trust goes beyond faithfulness as well. A wild life is not always a comfortable one (yet so much more exciting than the domesticated option). We have to be able to count on those closest to us in good times and bad. I trust my girlfriend with everything. Make sure you can count on your wild girlfriend.
(2) She can make you laugh
Having someone around that can make you laugh now and again is a godsend. When times are tough they can cheer you up. When times are good they can make them better.
A sense of humour is something you want to look for in a wild girlfriend. Someone who can laugh when they fall over in the mud or when they have seaweed in their hair.
“Don’t take life so seriously. Nobody makes it out alive anyway!”
(3) She isn’t constantly on Social Media
If you are looking for a wild girlfriend, look for a girl who isn’t constantly on social media. We wild men like to live in the moment in real environments. Phone zombies are boring and too much time spent online prevents us from having good conversations and experiences with our girlfriend.
A wild girlfriend should be able to head into nature without taking her phone and should be able to have a conversation without being interrupted by an artificial bleep. I also accept the irony of this article being posted on social media hehe.
(4) She cares about nature
Naturally we wild men care about natural environments and the non-human species that inhabit them. Your wild girlfriend should share your values or at least not be in opposition to them.
Sharing the same values allows you to communicate in greater depth and builds a sense of shared ground. My girlfriend and I have had countless conversations regarding the pros and cons of rewilding, civilization, renewable energy and so forth.
This doesn’t mean we agree on absolutely everything but our core interest and values are similar enough that we can understand and respect each other and enjoy each other’s company.
(5) You think she’s gorgeous without makeup
Natural beauty is something you want to look for in a wild girlfriend. She doesn’t have to beautiful to everyone but she has to be beautiful to you. By natural beauty I mean beauty that isn’t enhanced by industrially produced make-up and hair dyes.
The Oompa Loompa look is not only bad for your girlfriends’ health but also has a negative consequence on the natural environment. Makeups are loaded with synthetic chemicals which are washed from the face and eventually make their ways into waterways causing harm to both aquatic and terrestrial species alike.
This is not to say all makeup is bad. Certain organic brands have little to no impact. However my point is you should find your girlfriend attractive regardless of whether she is wearing face paint or not.
I think my girlfriend looks just as good in the morning as she does in the evening.
(6) She’s kind to people in your life
Community is a key element in organic living. Having a girlfriend that gets on with those around you is essential to this kind of lifestyle. Unless your friends and family are douchers, you should be able to take your girlfriend out with them and everybody having a good time.
Kindness and supportiveness not only to you but also to your friends and family are demonstrative characteristics of a fantastic human-being. It also suggests those characteristics would carry over if that same girlfriend becomes a mother one day.
“The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”
(7) She’s appreciative of the little things
A wild girlfriend is the polar opposite of a consumerist girlfriend. A consumerist girlfriend is only happy with the latest products, designer “child labor” clothes and “slave mined” diamonds.
A wild girlfriend appreciates the little things. She is happier with a home cooked meal and a walk in the forest than all of the above.
This is my girlfriend. Give her the latest iPhone and she will say thank-you. Take her to the beach and go wild swimming and she will say I love you!
As cliché as the following sentence now sounds a wild girlfriend favors experiences (even simple ones) over materials.
(8) She likes to cook
What man doesn’t appreciate a good home cooked meal? Most wild men would take a home cooked meal over a fancy restaurant any day of the week.
Traditionally men caught the meal and women prepared and cooked it. Today certain people may be offended by a statement such as this, but seeing as the learned ability to cook literally shaped our evolution, those who cooked should be celebrated instead of shunned.
This isn’t to say tradition can’t be broken and men can’t cook as well. I am simply agreeing with the age old saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.
I think my girlfriend knows this as she has cooked us many delicious meals over our time together and hopefully many more 🙂
If your girlfriend is into organic gardening or wild foraging that’s a bonus 😉 Nature’s bounty is a hundred times more delicious than the industrial crop.
(9) You can be yourself around her
By most people’s standards we rewilders are a strange bunch. We have many values and opinions that go against societal norms. Our habits are even more peculiar when contrasted with the masses! Try and explain to a regular square why you are eating your breakfast or reading in the squat position and you may experience their lemon face.
We need a girlfriend we can be ourselves around and likewise for them. Someone who appreciates us for our evolutionary-tested yet currently alternative approach to life.
(10) She loves being outdoors
One of the most important qualities of a wild girlfriend is she loves being outdoors. Rewilders live and breathe nature. We want to be there as much as possible.
A girlfriend who isn’t afraid to get her hair wet or hands dirty is what we need. My girlfriend and me have foraged wild food, collected spring water, and locomoted barefoot together.
We have slept under the stars in multiple countries with nothing but a sleeping bag. We have meditated in great forest, jumped of cliffs and plunged into icy water together. This is what you want in a wild girlfriend.
TO MY BEAUTIFUL WILD GIRLFRIEND
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY